I am a sheep. It is the new year, and I am back at the gym. I am part of the problem that crowds you oh so dedicated gym goers. How dare I? What was I thinking? I do promise, If everything goes according to plan, I will be among your ranks come March. Still side by side, sweating uncontrollably.
There is now such a culture tied to the gym going experience. Instagram shined a light on fitness in a way we have never seen before. People have careers working out on the Internet. They have curated outfits that they wear in their videos to get paid, and some of these people go to my gym and work out alongside me. I’m standing there in my not matching Champion sweatshirt and torn-off sweatpants. As long as I have been going to a gym as a young adult this has been the case, but every time I return I have the same rambling thoughts annotate my workout. Some are thoughts of my weary body as I tire from a workout. Others are self-bargaining, promising to reward myself if I push hard. And some thoughts are related to this swell in fitness culture. So, in honor of the new year 2019, here are 19 thoughts I have while at the gym.
Everything is being used? How is that possible? It’s okay. Just stretch. It’s important to stretch first. If anything, you’re lucky everything is taken. You get to stretch.
That’s enough stretching, get over to that open squat rack now!
Okay find a way to stretch in the squat rack. You don’t have time to lose the rack and you will get hurt if you don’t stretch.
You’re in terrible shape.
First set down. This isn’t so bad.
That girl has some cool pants.
Don’t be weird.
Third set down. This is getting pretty bad.
Am I the only one here without a tripod for my phone?
I get it. It’s great that shirt still fits you, but are we really wearing high school football shirts at 25?
You sweat so much. Like, so much.
I see that guy four times a week and he doesn’t even recognize me. How is that even possible?
Keep it up. Halfway to being halfway done.
I hate this song. Skip.
This song is even worse. Go back. Shit, that ruined my queue. Put on a podcast.
Look at that guy’s Yeezys. In this climate? Bold choice my friend.
Okay solid workout, you did good. Now do some cool down.
Nope, it’s taken too. Let’s just go home.
You’re going to be so sore tomorrow. Hope it was worth it, pal.
And there you have it! Those are nineteen of the one million things that race through my head at the gym. For those of you that are active gym goers, I’m sorry I’m crowding your gym and I hope I’m still there half a year from now. For those fellow resolution people, best of luck! It can be a hard habit to form, and I’m so proud of you for trying. Happy working, happier resting, and as always, Happy #MillenialFriday