Wineries: The Final Frontier

It is my job, as curator of #MillenialFriday, to stay on top of trends for you. To suggest a finer way of living. To unpack the nuance of a 21st century existence. I’m here to help. I’m here to provide my misguided guidance as we both fumble our way through our early adult years. I have your best interest at heart even if that means my advice doesn’t always yield positive results. I am nothing if not the advice of my peers. Every piece of advice anyone has ever told you is just some mutation on advice they got from someone else and so on and so forth. A trusted source of mine presented me with a thought, “Why don’t single men go to wineries? That’s where single women go.” On its face, what a brilliant observation. Because I have a weekly blog to fill, I’ll extrapolate.

To be frank, she (my source) is right. There is no discernible reason why young men shouldn’t be flocking to wineries on their spare Saturday afternoons. But alas, we mustn't forget the main objection; the creed that mid-20’s men have tethered themselves to: “Saturdays are for the boys”. Oh what a shame, to have to so bravely, willingly sacrifice time spent with the opposite sex for a duration of your weekend. I will end that argument right where it begins. If you are so disinterested in interacting with women, then, by all means, go to the winery with “your boys”. This isn’t a cry for female attention, it’s impassioned support for a thriving beverage industry. You will have an equally great time.

That being said, if you are interested in meeting a woman and your interests include drinking, a  winery is a best case scenario for you. It is a great place to meet someone! If you want to play the game you need to go where the game is being played. I agree with my friend’s initial statement. Wineries are a very popular, noticeably female-populated weekend outing. Now, this may sound very “gotta go where the chicks are, bro” of me, I’ll admit. But if you were into art I would recommend a museum, wineries just offer a wider range of interests. I’ll flat out say it, guys, if you want to meet a girl, go to a winery. Whatever you’ve been doing is not working. My point is you are introducing yourself to a different brand of person by going to a winery for the first time, as opposed to a sports bar for the Nth time.

Bars, even when they’re fun, can sometimes come with this feeling of “where are we going next?” A winery is a day event. You’re probably going home after that, maybe to drink more wine, but home nonetheless. It’s a day long event. So, in the event you do meet someone at a winery, there isn’t the pressure or implication that you have to spend the rest of your night with them. It’s a much more casual meet-cute to tell your friends about.

Breweries are commonplace among men and women alike our age. You may be wondering what separates breweries from wineries. First, craft beer is played out. I know, it’s tough to hear, but it’s very much like Facebook. If it’s something your uncle also does then it has lost its luster. Wine, in recent years, has had a surge in our age demographic, resulting in things like wine subscription services, and they have even started canning it because we’re always on the go. (That’s not the reason. Is it? I don’t care.) While we aren’t seeing a booming “micro-winery” industry (although they do exist) what we are seeing is growth of urban wineries. A decade ago the only way to visit a winery was to go to wine country, or at the very least, leave the city for the day, which wasn’t feasible because you have to drive there, and you’re going there to, well, very counterintuitively, drink. Now, wineries are popping up in and around larger cities so the vino lovers can access them via your typical city transportation. (Uber, public transport, etc.)

Now, if your interest is drinking and only drinking, a winery is also gonna be more bang for your buck. (I’m telling ya, it’s really the way to go.) I know breweries offer a free tasting after you tour their “facility” (if you are still fascinated by brewery tours then you need to see more of the world, I’m so sorry) Here’s the thing about wineries, they just have tastings. I mean, you go in and try all of their wines, and then you pick the one you like. You don’t have to walk through a cellar or factory or anything. Also, if you would like to get into drink algebra, a beer at a brewery will run you $7-9 and in order to do any amount of damage you’re looking to grab 4 or 5 of those. A bottle of wine from the source can fall in a wide price range, but you can usually grab something great in the mid $20 range, and one bottle of wine will go much further than 4 beers. (I did my thesis on drink math.)

Now, I can’t believe I’ve made it this far without mentioning, but have you ever been to a winery? Every time it’s like going to a picnic! Whereas breweries can seem dreary and industrial, wineries have an air of carefree fun. Breweries often have outdoor beer gardens, which still feel congested. Just think about that. Breweries have found a way to make the outside feel crowded. Lunacy. A winery, with its rolling hills always feels like there’s room for more. Also, I don’t know when this became a thing, but I feel like I’ve seen more babies at one brewery than I have ever seen at a winery. What’s going on with that?

I’m here to support you in whatever it is you choose to do. We love each other. But I do highly suggest you check out a winery on your next open weekend. Bring your significant other for an afternoon of heightened romance, go with your buddies, toss back some pinot and don’t submit to gender norms, or go with a small group of friends, enjoy a carefree afternoon and maybe meet someone. If that fails I can also give you a good bar to go to.


Like. Comment. Share. Sip. And as always, Happy #MillenialFriday